How to get a game banned
In many ways Australia is seen as a laughing stock by the world’s gamers. We seem to ban more games than even those fun-hating Germans do, usually with the sort of reasons people laughed at when they were first brought up in the 80s. I mean really, refusing classification to a game about graffiti? What next, banning flat-tops and breakdancing gangs?
It now seems Australia isn’t getting some obscure Japanese game called Rule of Rose, apparently because there’s been some outcry about the game on television here. It hasn’t even been submitted for classification, it’s just not being released. A similar thing happened in Europe last week, with the developer announcing it wouldn’t bother releasing the game after outcry.
Over the past few months I’ve seen a few trailers for it and I can’t work out what the heck is going on. It’s weird, and has a sort of psilocybin induced Alice in Wonderland unreality to it - but theres nothing that indicates outcry or scandal beyond the shamefully emo nature of the whole thing. It’s a horror game, its not targeted at children.
But it’s a horror game involving a young girl and that must be evil. It’s these kinds of ‘it lets you graffiti so people will graffiti’ assumptions that turn the depressing mess that is the Australian game classification system into high farce.
I honestly think you could get any game pulled this way, so I’m starting my own campaign against Microsoft and Rare’s pokemon-esque attempt a mass media franchise, Viva Pinata.
For those unaware of this game, it’s premise is that the gamer - in this case a small, impressionable (they are never non-impressionable are they?) child is tasked with nurturing a race of creatures whose sole aim is to breed with random strangers and eventually be smashed open so their peers can feed on the sweet goodies inside. Not only is it telling children sex-slavery is A-ok, its encouraging cannibalism.
Now, all someone needs to do is dangle that paragraph in front of one of those public interest groups that will give negative public comment on anything you tell them is ‘evil’ - you know, the ones that push for stronger ratings then complain when a game rated the maximum MA15+ is unsuitable for small children. Get this picked up by a few media outlets and before you know it Microsoft’s PR agency will be sending out press releases explaining why their kids game has been refused classification for ‘cannibalism and sexual depravity’.
It would be hilarious if not for the fact it’s not that far from reality.
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